Scared College Girl calls up a dispatch centre and complains how she’s been threatened by a man with an AR15 over a payphone. The dispatch officer seems unhelpful and argumentative, so naturally Sergeant Fields holds him responsible for threatening the Scared College Girl, takes the phone from her and begins to warn to officer about threatening people in his city, causing him to go beserk.
The Winona County Uprising NEW
After I read this article about a legitimate “public alert” automated call system that’s being used to by the police in Winona to call and bother citizens with things that have nothing to do with them, I thought it’d be fun to call some of the locals with a faux-automated message of my own, letting them know that an uprising has occured across the state, and that they must remain in their homes for 24 hours, and then transferring them to the cops who squirmed as they had to explain it was a mistake and their public alert system has malfunctioned (and from their responses it’s safe to assume that there in fact IS an automated public alert system set up to call people in case of a revolution, which is bizarre to say the least).
Hopefully the cops in Winona won’t be so trigger happy next time they think about sending out another 12:30am wakeup call to the citizens out there. That’s my good deed for the day.
Just on a whim we decided to dust off the Chris Chan and Robert Chandler soundboards and bother people with their insanity before digging up the number for the Chandler Familys local cops and calling them with it to request them to “bring the police and uh.. ambulance around” and they actually bought it, believing it to be Chris and showing up at the Chandler family household within 20 minutes thinking that Chris and Bob were cowering inside and refusing to leave until they’d spoken to Chris about his prank calling habit.
We call up Chris the Hacker and his local Police at the same time, and lol as Chris tries to take control of the situation in a professional manner while his soundboard interjects into the conversation. When the local cops hang up we connect him to Tennessee and repeat the premise until Chris manages to explain to them what is going on, and promises to call them back himself. Before he can do this though, we call them back with his own soundboard and thoroughly ruin his chances at making an alliance with the state of Tennessee.
I’d originally made this into a video on youtube, basically because it can be confusing working out when Chris speaks and when his soundboard speaks and the video makes it clear, but unfortunantly it got flagged down by Chris on ground of ‘Hate Speech’ within 48 hours.. but you can download the video yourself if you want. I’d hate to see such high quality production value wasted.
After getting such good results with the Winona County automated messages we tried out the same premise using a faux-automated call from “Life Alert/Life Call“, and called back the “helpful man” (coincidentally named Richard Moore) from the first Winona County calls who rapidly became distressed about what was going on and rattled off some amateur tech-geek speil about hackers taking control of the telephone company computers. Remind you of anyone?
Back in June last year Chris the Hotel Spaz succeeded in driving these cops insane with his frustrated ranting until he was cussed out and threatened with arrest for annoying them. The Deputy Duncan soundboard stepped in at that point and control of the conversation, and defused the arguement- much to the irritation of the policewoman who’d clearly wanted to take revenge on Chris.
No prelude of humble chit chat in this prank call. We simply call a woman and unleash pure Pissed Off Dispatcher rage onto her accompanied by dire warnings from the Sergeant Fields soundboard to tell her stop calling, and once she inevitabley summoned the police to her door and they get on the phone, we conferenced them all with another police department and the Pissed Off Dispatcher blames the whole thing on the woman and the cop at her house seems to believe him.
She eventually disconnected her phone the same night.
Once the Methhead womans number was reconnected in the aftermath of the “Tim Thompson Terrorizes” call, we call back to annoy her but find her ghetto-wanna-be son answering the phone instead. He argues with the Pissed off Dispatcher, tries to get help from a friendly Deputy Duncan, and finally he’s forced to defend himself against Sergeant Fields threats.
Playing around with the
Marbury, Racist Redneck and Colossal Racist Bitch soundboards, we use them to summon police to various Marbury Roads and 16th Streets in various cities, including New York in North Carolina.
During an evening of relentless prank calling of Chris the Hacker we connected him to various police departments and had fun using edited lines from “DatBoys on FIRE” to tell the cops that there was a fire at DatBoys. Chris had largely remained unresponsive until this point, when he decided he’d better speak to prevent another hosing from the firemen. He eventually gives up talking halfway through and decides it’s more prudent to push buttons on his phone to sabotage the conversation between the local police and his own soundboard, so it gets kinda loud, fair warning. In the greater scheme of things this call fits in down in the “Belmont Street Calls” subsection in the HACKERFEST 2010 section.
A series of calls to the old nuthouse featuring the Confused Jewish Lady (recently discovered by GoldenPhone), Chinaman, Jesus Lady, Frank Garrett, Deputy Duncan and Sergeant Fields and the elusive New York Cunt Lady soundboard. We dial the payphone at random to talk to the patients who pick up until one of them threatens beat the Cunt Lady and gives us the number to the front desk, instructing us to call them.
We then conference both phones together to cause confusion before putting the asylum workers back in contact with the Confused Jewish Lady who has apparently called the police- mayhem ensues, and they’re clearly in need of some therapy… which Dr Phil is happy to provide.