Continuing on from the “Chris the Hacker prank calls in 2011” page, the “FaceBook Saga” documents the discovery, annihilation and subsequent fallout from Chris‘s adventures on the popular social networking site, which culminated in bringing the townspeople to Chris’s DatBoys shop yet again… pitchforks and all.
UPDATE AUGUST 26TH A (totally unrelated) VIDEO FROM KRISTEN IS DISCOVERED!
Chris was spotted on facebook by a dedicated troll engaging in perverse dialouge with a woman more than half his age. When this was discovered Mr. Biomedical called him up and reportedly recieved a hate-filled cussin’ from Chris the Hacker, but this didn’t get recorded 😦
Margie called him back shortly afterwards and demanded to know what he was doing trying to flirt with someone almost ten years younger than his daughter, but he refused to explain himself, preferring to solicit threats instead, while being teased about his former Computer Commando TV show on public access.
After the first call, we called back with improved audio capabilities and tried again to get some truth about the facebook incident, and why he was so angry about it. But Chris avoided the question, claiming to have simply been trying to get our attention so that’d we all call him, like the good ole days, but then he can’t think of anything to say, so we begin an in-depth discussion on his thoughts on his belief in god, creationism, evolution, the NWO, RFID chips and the impending apocalypse, and that “god is proven conclusively by oxygen nucleotides, and by time being quantitative” as he claimed when he called into Atheist Experience and got hung up on by Matt Dillahunty.
Because it was SO hard to convey anything TTS (just like the good ole days) while Bio and Chris argued, i’ve written up a handful of responses to what Chris’s main arguements were, in hopes that he’ll do some fuckin’ research for once in his life- you can find them in full on the original post as they’d take up waaay to much room on here, and we like to be organized 😉
Chris believes in the omnipotent NWO military-style 1984 Fema Camp dictatorship, and that only jesus can save him from annihilation. He is a creationist, believing therefore that all criticism of God Bear Jesus -presumably as far back as the 2nd generation early christians who expressed doubt over whether Jesus has existed or not, and famously with Hypatia of Alexandria in 405AD– is NWO paid and controlled disinformation, and he believes that the bible is 100% accurate, meaning that if he’s being honest, he believes that the world is flat. He also believes that anybody under 20 would not have heard the term “pawned” without having first undertaken extensive research into linguistics on the urban dictionary.
After the discovery of Kristen in which Chris was questioned about his intentions with the girl 10 years younger than his own daughter, her number was discovered via Facebook and GoldenPhone was the first to call her (spoofing Chris’s number at DatBoys) with the new Chris Soundboard ( version uhhh …5? ) but sadly she didn’t have much to say to her ‘best friend’ in Belmont.
We tried back… or rather Biomedical (AKA Trufuknplaya) tried back repeatedly but she didn’t want to pick up the phone again. We guessed initially that Chris had told her all about the prank calls and she was being smart knowing it was a soundboard and not picking up, however, it wasn’t long before Bio (having spoofed Chris’s number) began to recieve a number of calls back from area codes in Belmont and Florida, threatening ‘Chris’ by name and trying to intimidate him into leaving Kristen alone.
Turns out that Kristen figured it was Chris calling her up and being vulgar, and she’d rallied her boyfriend (probably another sugar daddy) and mom back in Florida to warn Chris away from her, and given his numerous ramblings on Facebook to her and her friends and family, they probably didn’t need much persuasion to do it. As Chris pointed out last year; “life is very difficult.”
The Final call in this chapter. Bio calls Chris back to inform him of the fury that has been mistakenly directed at him and his place of business, and as Chris casually issues threats of snitching to parents the local townspeople begin to arrive on his doorstep.
Well this is a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into now, Chris!
In the wake of Chrises discovery of the Trolls “stalking him over facebook” and having posted helpful instructions to his friends on how to filter out Trolls from the friend lists (see screencaps below) we felt it was time to parley with Kristen using Chrises soundboard to find out what she felt about the recent events. Sadly, she was most unhelpful, hanging up repeatedly on Chris until -almost inevitably- it deviated into leaving angry messages on her voicemail using the new Chris board until she finally picked up the phone to tell Chris what she thought of him.
The following is a transcription of a poorly spelt, poorly constructed MS Paint announcement Chris posted to his facebook- screencaps attatched
ATTENTION FRIENDS: I have informed all of my Family and Friends that I was randomly targeted by Prank Callers/Hackers. If you dont’ believe it’s random. Go to YouTube and type in search box Nightmare On Burton Street. These Miscreanes have criminally harassed and stalked for the last 2 1/2 years…everyday! I didn’t mis-state that. “every freakin day”. The Prank Callers/Hackers are now infecting FaceBook. They are setting up accounts to try and harass my family and friends. They are starting to succeed. How? Recently a family member and a friend both accepted somebody as a friend even though they How’s your password? is it less than 8 characters. Are you using both capitalized and small letters with a couple of numbers thrown in. Maybe even a special character ($, %, #) or two? if you don’t know somebody or unless it’s through a real friend and you varify that they are in fact real friends of your friend. You would be acting follishly and irresponsibly to accept them as a “friend”.
Kristen is or was a real friend. I dont know whether she likes me anymore because of what what she endured from the Prankcallers/Hackers. Unfortunatley she was a little to trusting in accepting the Chris Perron imposter that’s above as a friend. My Daughter has a good heart like Kristen and accepted a Morgan Spadoni as a friend. Do not accept anybody using my name or that says they are related to any friend unless they’re on my list.
More on the way…? Probably 🙂